I’ve written about this before but today I share my version of the book, what I had in mind for it but am now able to produce myself. The design, content and production are mine and I can say I’m more statisfied with this result than the previous. I’m still to print it and make a hardcover copy, although bookbinding takes a lot of skill, time and money, so I might do it during summer vacation.
Here it is
(click on the miniatures to see the full size image)
Hoje tenho em mim versos variados de Ronald Carvalho, em especial este “Elogio dos repuxos”, que lê assim:
Dor dos repuxos ao Sol-pôr agonizando
em plumas e marfins, em rosas de ouro e luz…
Canto da água que desce em poeira, leve e brando,
canto da água que sobe e onde o jardim transluz.
Dormem sinos na bruma — a cinza tem afagos…
Sombras de antigas naus, velas altas a arfar,
passam em turbilhões pelo fundo dos lagos,
(a aventura, a conquista, a ânsia eterna do mar!)
Repuxos a morrer sobre si mesmos, lentos —
curvos leques a abrir e a fechar num adejo,
— mão vencida que vem de vãos incitamentos,
mão nervosa que vai mais cheia de desejo…
Volúpia de fugir — ser longe e ser distância,
e tornar logo ao cais e de novo partir!
Volúpia — desejar e não possuir, ser ânsia…
Repuxos a descer, repuxos a subir…
Não fixar emoções, volúpia de esquecê-las,
Andar dentro de si perdido na memória…
(Caçadores ideais de mundos e de estrelas —
repuxos ao Sol-Pôr cheios de mágoa e glória…)
Dor dos repuxos ao crepúsculo cantando!
desespero, alegria — o lábio, a mão… e um beijo.
Dor dos repuxos, dor sangrando, dor sonhando —
Ir tocar a ilusão e morrer em desejo…
La Débauche et la Mort sont deux aimables filles,
Prodigues de baisers et riches de santé,
Dont le flanc toujours vierge et drapé de guenilles
Sous l’éternel labeur n’a jamais enfanté.
Au poète sinistre, ennemi des familles,
Favori de l’enfer, courtisan mal renté,
Tombeaux et lupanars montrent sous leurs charmilles
Un lit que le remords n’a jamais fréquenté.
Et la bière et l’alcôve en blasphèmes fécondes
Nous offrent tour à tour, comme deux bonnes soeurs,
De terribles plaisirs et d’affreuses douceurs.
Quand veux-tu m’enterrer, Débauche aux bras immondes?
Ô Mort, quand viendras-tu, sa rivale en attraits,
Sur ses myrtes infects enter tes noirs cyprès?
What is this, behind this veil, is it ugly, is it beautiful?
It is shimmering, has it breasts, has it edges?
I am sure it is unique, I am sure it is what I want.
When I am quiet at my cooking I feel it looking, I feel it thinking
‘Is this the one I am too appear for,
Is this the elect one, the one with black eye-pits and a scar?
Measuring the flour, cutting off the surplus,
Adhering to rules, to rules, to rules.
Is this the one for the annunciation?
My god, what a laugh!’
But it shimmers, it does not stop, and I think it wants me.
I would not mind if it were bones, or a pearl button.
I do not want much of a present, anyway, this year.
After all I am alive only by accident.
I would have killed myself gladly that time any possible way.
Now there are these veils, shimmering like curtains,
The diaphanous satins of a January window
White as babies’ bedding and glittering with dead breath. O ivory!
It must be a tusk there, a ghost column.
Can you not see I do not mind what it is.
Can you not give it to me?
Do not be ashamed–I do not mind if it is small.
Do not be mean, I am ready for enormity.
Let us sit down to it, one on either side, admiring the gleam,
The glaze, the mirrory variety of it.
Let us eat our last supper at it, like a hospital plate.
I know why you will not give it to me,
You are terrified
The world will go up in a shriek, and your head with it,
Bossed, brazen, an antique shield,
A marvel to your great-grandchildren.
Do not be afraid, it is not so.
I will only take it and go aside quietly.
You will not even hear me opening it, no paper crackle,
No falling ribbons, no scream at the end.
I do not think you credit me with this discretion.
If you only knew how the veils were killing my days.
To you they are only transparencies, clear air.
But my god, the clouds are like cotton.
Armies of them. They are carbon monoxide.
Sweetly, sweetly I breathe in,
Filling my veins with invisibles, with the million
Probable motes that tick the years off my life.
You are silver-suited for the occasion. O adding machine—–
Is it impossible for you to let something go and have it go whole?
Must you stamp each piece purple,
Must you kill what you can?
There is one thing I want today, and only you can give it to me.
It stands at my window, big as the sky.
It breathes from my sheets, the cold dead center
Where split lives congeal and stiffen to history.
Let it not come by the mail, finger by finger.
Let it not come by word of mouth, I should be sixty
By the time the whole of it was delivered, and to numb to use it.
Only let down the veil, the veil, the veil.
If it were death
I would admire the deep gravity of it, its timeless eyes.
I would know you were serious.
There would be a nobility then, there would be a birthday.
And the knife not carve, but enter
Pure and clean as the cry of a baby,
And the universe slide from my side.
Assez vu. La vision s’est rencontrée à tous les airs.
Assez eu. Rumeurs des villes, le soir, et au soleil, et toujours.
Assez connu. Les arrêts de la vie. — Ô Rumeurs et Visions!
Départ dans l’affection et le bruit neufs!
Here is no water but only rock
Rock and no water and the sandy road
The road winding above among the mountains
Which are mountains of rock without water
If there were water we should stop and drink
Amongst the rock one cannot stop or think
Sweat is dry and feet are in the sand
If there were only water amongst the rock
Dead mountain mouth of carious teeth that cannot spit
Here one can neither stand nor lie nor sit
There is not even silence in the mountains
But dry sterile thunder without rain
There is not even solitude in the mountains
But red sullen faces sneer and snarl
From doors of mudcracked houses
If there were water
And no rock
If there were rock
And also water
A pool among the rock
If there were the sound of water only
Not the cicada
And dry grass singing
But sound of water over a rock
Where the hermit thrush sings in the pine trees
Drip drop drip drop drop drop drop
But there is no water
(excerto do capítulo “What the Thunder Said”)
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